Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
