there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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