Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
