I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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