is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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