smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
