I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
