got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
