Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
