He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
