just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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