Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
