glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
