I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
