Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
