You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
