That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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