it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
