Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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