ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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