I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
