and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
