Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
