feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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