i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
