Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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