i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
