____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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