hotel room ftw
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
