I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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