I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
