my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
