Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
