their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
