how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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