I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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