I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Floor bacon is actually really good
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
