her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
