So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
