its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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