He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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