Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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