Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Less talking, more tequila
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
