I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
