All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
