just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
