she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
