I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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