Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
