You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
