Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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