Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
