I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
