I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
